Category Archives: Romantic Relationships

Is It Ever Okay to Lie?

ShareYou’re walking on a sidewalk late at night. It’s dark but there are light posts to guide your way. Suddenly, out of the dark, a man comes running towards you. As he passes he screams, “Save me! He’s trying to kill me!” You look back and see him rush around a corner near a large trash bin where you think he might try to hide. Then, you wheel around because you hear the second man running towards you out of the dark and he looks menacing, like a street gang member or something. He has a gun. He rushes up to you and demands, “Where did he go?!” What do you say? Do you tell him the truth? Or do you lie? Like most people, … Continue reading

Posted in Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Uncategorized, Self-Improvement, Social Issues | 13 Comments

Perfection

ShareShakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God. What … Continue reading

Posted in Healing Loss (ALL), Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Substance Abuse, Tragedy, Uncategorized, Courage, Self-Improvement, Social Issues, Spirituality | 2 Comments

Judging Others & Keeping Emotions In Check

ShareThis topic comes to mind because of recent personal events. Rather than dive in with the details of it, I’ll try to give it a perspective that gives you something to think about and how it might apply to your own lives. When you look at others, particularly someone you’re close to such as a family member or a co-worker, who is having personal issues you have strong opinions about, what do you do? Do you rush in with advice? More importantly, if you do give advice, do you do so with the other person’s feelings first or are you giving it based on your OWN feelings? Many times, we tend toward the latter. After all, we’re human. When we see someone who is having … Continue reading

Posted in Healing Loss (ALL), Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Uncategorized, Self-Improvement, Social Issues, Spirituality | Leave a comment

“P L A U G E S”

ShareI remember when I first thought of this acronym. It was about a year ago when I was encountering a lot of anger and resentments from family members about past issues. I could never remember the 7 deadly sins and this acronym helps me to remember them: “PLAUGES” = Pride, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Greed, Envy, and Sloth. I had to fudge on the U, substituting gluttony instead! When I think of those words though, there’s 2 more that I think should be included as “deadly sins”, fears and resentments. When you look at your own life, ask yourself these questions. When is it when you feel like you’re losing control over your life? What do you FEEL when you don’t have control? And what is … Continue reading

Posted in Healing Loss (ALL), Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Economic Worries, Health Issues, Substance Abuse, Tragedy, Uncategorized, Courage, Self-Improvement, Social Issues, Spirituality, Work & Career | 2 Comments

Living In The Moment

ShareRecently, someone came into my life that asked me to “live in the moment” when we planned our first one-0n-one encounter. Living in the moment is something that goes in line with many of the teaching and lessons I’ve learned over the years and though I know we all try to practice this principle, it remains difficult, at least for me, to keep from “projecting” future events based on current feelings and emotions. In one of my earlier posts here on the blog, I referred to a lady counselor at Norton Valley Hope in Norton, KS. I saw only once in September 2006. She was substituting that day for my regular counselor and was the key person who gave me the handwritten note about reading … Continue reading

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Psychological Phenomenon

ShareI’ve been thinking a lot about the psychology of relationships lately, especially family dynamics. When I went to SDSU in the early 80’s, I took psychology courses as electives and discovered I liked the subject so much I almost changed my major. Course, I didn’t, but did it up only a few credits short of a minor in the subject to go with my major in Business. Got all A’s too. One aspect of psychology that I find especially intriguing is one I’m sure we’re all aware of. However, for those of you that read this that don’t, I’ll do my best to explain the way I view this topic. The only way I know how to do it is to apply it to some … Continue reading

Posted in Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Uncategorized, Self-Improvement, Social Issues | 6 Comments

Emotions

Share I’m an emotional guy. And that’s a broad area. Most that know me well know I don’t hide how I feel and frankly, I don’t care to. I’ve learned that expressing one’s feelings, good or bad, in an open and honest way has several impacts with those I interact with. First, people can tell pretty damned easily if I’m happy, sad, upbeat, mad, melonchaly, or whatever. I say this often; what you see is what you get, I mean what I say and say what I mean, style takes a backseat to substance with me and with anyone else I choose to interact with or call a friend. But maybe more importantly, it opens me up to the judgments of others, either positively or … Continue reading

Posted in Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Uncategorized, Self-Improvement, Social Issues | 4 Comments

Rick Warren

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Posted in Healing Loss (ALL), Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Substance Abuse, Tragedy, Uncategorized, Courage, Self-Improvement, Social Media, Spirituality | Leave a comment

The Internet, Cell Phones, iPods, Computers, & Facebook

Share The past 24 hours have been some of the toughest I’ve had in a long time. Deactivating my facebook account was more difficult than I thought, probably because its been such a huge part of my life since January 2009. Its hard to describe to anyone what I mean by that. After I was released from the “Holliday Inn” in Elkhart, KS., one of the very first things I did was to find my way to a computer. Being without any kind of “connection” with the outside world, other than what silly TV programs were being played by some of my fellow “mates” and the 15 minute window I had once a week where I was allowed “visitation”, meaning a phone call or personal … Continue reading

Posted in Healing Loss (ALL), Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Tragedy, Uncategorized, Courage, Self-Improvement, Social Issues, Social Media | 2 Comments

Expectations & Serenity

Share One of the best things anyone should remember is that your serenity is inversely proportional to your expectations. The higher your expectations of other people are, chances are that your serenity will be lower. You can watch your serenity rise when you discard your expectations. But then “rights” try to move in, and they too can force your serenity level down. You have to discard your “rights”, as well as your expectations, by asking yourself, How important is it, really? How important is it compared to your serenity, your emotional peace? And when you place more value on your serenity and inner peace than anything else, you can maintain them at a higher level, at least for a time. So keep your magic magnifying … Continue reading

Posted in Healing Loss (ALL), Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Economic Worries, Health Issues, Substance Abuse, Tragedy, Uncategorized, Courage, Life Coaching, Self-Improvement, Social Issues, Spirituality, Work & Career | 2 Comments

Acceptance is The Answer

ShareThis is what I do. This is what I mean by “ramblings”. It’s 4:30 a.m. PDT and I’ve just had a dream. I awaken and something “happens.” A word, a phrase, an event, something that triggers me to pull my sorry ass out of bed even though I know my body and mind needs more rest. But I don’t. I get up. And here I am. Recently, my daughter got into trouble back home in Tribune over a weekend when she and several others her age were caught violating school policy on a weekend when obviously there was no school. Still, rules are rules as they say. Somehow alcohol was involved. Now she has been hit with a 16 week out-of-school suspension, meaning she still … Continue reading

Posted in Healing Loss (ALL), Romantic Relationships, Family Relationships, Economic Worries, Health Issues, Substance Abuse, Tragedy, Uncategorized, Courage, Social Issues, Work & Career | 1 Comment