Many have asked; “How do I let go? Why is that so hard?” Perhaps we try too hard, we over-analyze, trying to “figure it all out.” We’re too hard on ourselves. Many times it’s not the attachment that causes us pain. It’s detachment that hurts. The following article as seen in McWilliams – Life 101 can also be viewed HERE.
I don’t want the cheese, I just want to get out of the trap.
How does one avoid loss in the first place? Contrary to popular belief, it’s not attachment that causes loss–attachment feels fine. It’s detachment that hurts. Learn to let go.
Some suggest that to avoid loss, one should never be attached to anything. They give the example of a hand in water: when the hand is removed from the water, the hand leaves no impression. These people say the reason the hand leaves no trace in the water is because the water is not attached to the hand.
On the contrary, while the hand is in the water, it is very attached to the hand–surrounding, enfolding, and embracing it. Allow yourself to experience life as fully as water experiences the hand; then, as completely, let go.
Yes, the water leaves a little of itself on the departing hand, as we leave a little of ourselves with the people and things we touch. For the most part, however, when it comes time to go, let go.
The hand can no more hold the water than the water can hold the hand. As soon as one “wants” to leave, there is no attachment. Hand and water both accept the inevitability, and part “clean.”
There is a title for a book on raising children I’ve always liked: Hold Them Very Close, and Let Them Go. This I find good advice for all experiences:
Hold them very close, and let them go.
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