Reasons, Seasons, or Lifetime

One of the most difficult parts of our lives is dealing with relationships. Whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, or intimate, there will be times in our life when our faith is severely tested. Think of those relationships in your past when something beautiful came along and, for whatever reason, it ended. It may have been the death of a family member or loved one. Your first boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage. A co-worker who turned their back on you. Someone whom you thought was a friend, only to learn that they were just using you.

However you wish to describe those moments, they all involve a form of grieving. The pain, heartbreak, and the bitterness you felt. As for me, my first experience was in the death of my mother when I was only 13, which was bad enough. But to be witness to a horrific vehicle accident, staring down at the broken body of someone you love, someone still alive, only to lose them shortly thereafter, is almost unbearable.

In later years as an adult, another ending arrived with the breakup of my marriage after 8 years. That too prompted the grief process to start all over again, which was made even worse since it involved our two young children, who were only 7 and 5 at the time. Even today, nearly 12 years later, it remains difficult.

But then there was another, and this one was perhaps the most difficult of all. It’s one thing to be hurt over the loss of a relationship, it’s quite another when it’s self-inflicted, when it involves losing yourself. That’s where I found myself in early 2008, culminating with nearly losing my life because of an insidious disease caused by one of mankind’s cruelest inventions.

Finally, over the past two years, there’s been not one, but three breakups of relationships, two of them intimate, and one that nearly got there. All of these events in life are a form of grief. But in every instance, all of them provided lessons and an opportunity for personal growth. It’s not what happens to us that matters. It’s our attitude in response. Are we going to wallow in self-pity and despair? Or are we going to look at these “moments” in time, these “endings”, as just a springboard to move up to a higher awareness of ourselves? What I call turning weaknesses into assets. Because it’s not the triumphant moments in our lives that are the best measure of our character or success. It’s in those moments of tragedy and heartbreak that define our greatness as human beings.

This quote is one we all know well, and which sums it up best. One that I believe bears repeating to ourselves over and over again, as we journey down this road called “LIFE.”….. ~ Gusto

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.  They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  They may seem like a godsend, and they are.  They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.  Sometimes they die.  Sometimes they walk away.  Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.  What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.  The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.  They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.  They may teach you something you have never done.  They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!  But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.  Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);  and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. ~ Unknown

To get to the heart of the matter….it’s about “Forgiveness.”


  1. Good blogging!

  2. How do i get past pity, blaming myself….how do i push throug to feel good again?

    • Self-pity and blaming are big topics Denise. It’s very difficult to respond with any clarity without more detail of what you’re speaking of. Feel free to email me!

Leave a Reply